Ugh

Originally Posted October 12th, 2003, I think this simultaneously foreshadows my musical elitism and retroactively negates all of my musical opinions in the Bands I Like section. But I'm posting it because I still find it pretty funny.

Bands I fucking hate:

Dave Matthews "Band"

Creed

Good Charlotte

Any band with "Mud" in their name

Any band that purposely mispells a word in their name, or inserts backwards letters, in order to connect with their illiterate, low IQ fanbase.

International Noise Conspiracy

Jack Johnson or any shitty open mic artist that attempts to cop his "style" or mentions that he used to be a surfer. Yeah, douche, he also was a heavyweight boxer that nearly stole the title from mohammhed ali.

Phish. Take a shower.

Alien Ant Farm. God, the inverted mohawk is so anti-everything, you rebel.

Bush. Stop whining about how handsome and rich you are, and how every time you bang Gwen Stephanie she screams out her bassists name.

Dashboard. Stop whining about everything, ditch the ovaries, kick aside the miles of tissue, and punch yourself in the face, ugly. (Some people say I look like Chris Caraberra)

Coldplay. Fuck Coldplay. Wow, life is miserable. I'm a goodlooking brit with oodles of money who's boning Gwenyth Paltrow, whom worships the ground I walk on.

Limp Bizkit. Wait, I already covered them with the misspelling category. Shit, they deserve to be on here twice.

Maroon 5. I don't really know who they are, but I hate them already.

Metallica. Seriously. Never has there been a band that has caused me to hastily turn the radio to NPR faster than these white-trash dinosaurs. And fuck Lars Ulrich for ratting out his fans and starting the RIAA's crusade to get people to stop listening to music. Everytime I hear one of your shitty songs off of "Saint Anger" you should pay ME royalties for having to endure your turds.

Slipknot. Fat trailer trash in clown make-up pretending to make jock rock. At least KISS exploited it better than you did, number 1-8.

All-American Rejects. Whiny emo kids tailor-made to sell style over substance. Possibly some of the worst stuff I've ever heard.

Incubus. Okay, they aren't that terrible. I'm just sick of every dude with a backwards Abercrombie and Fitch hat think that he's rebelling against conformist rap when he blares another "5 dudes and a DJ" band out of his Toyota Tundra.

The Vines. Okay, where are they now?

Bands that are still kicking my ass:

Modest Mouse
Minus the Bear
The Mars Volta
Wilco
Sigur Ros
Unearth
Mos Def
One of These Days
Hella
Stretch Arm Strong
Dillinger Escape Plan
Atmosphere
The Witness Protection Program
Rythm of 84 (thats not a misspelled name, I just dont know how to spell that damn word. Sigh, after all of these years in public education)
Led Zepplin (Who?)
Darkest Hour