Saturday, February 9, 2008

Struggles

Originally Posted Jan. 19th, 2008. In case you are wondering what this is all about, it is a parody of http://everystudent.com/wires/jenniferm.html which was run as a Facebook ad for a while.

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One student writes about his struggles with internet pornography addiction, and how god intervened and set his path straight.


I was 18 and living on a houseboat in an abusive foster family. My foster father used to toss his cigarettes into the water and make me jump into the lake in sub-freezing temperatures and retrieve them for him with my mouth, just like a dog. If only I would have been fed as well as one, I wouldn't have complained. If I didn't allow any of the cigarettes to get wet, he would occasionally let me smoke one, even though I had acute asthma and a weak lung. Suffice to say, these were some of my good memories of my teenage years.

When I moved away to college a year later on a student loan, I felt as astray and rudderless as the buoys that sometimes kept our houseboat afloat during those tumultuous times. In order to satiate the yearning void of loneliness, I turned to the only natural avenue of escape available in an alcohol-free dorm: Internet Pornography. In stead of checking my grades, I'd check on the nakedness status of my cam-whore subscriptions. Any idle moment available became an opportunity to scan the latest updates at bigtitsroundasses.com. I'd sometimes stay up till dawn surfing the web until my eyelids were chapped with the crust of the new day and my fingers were but mere sacs of blistery fluid.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was addicted to internet porn, big time. And even worse, I didn't realize it had anything to do with my abusive foster father and his mongrelization of me, thus I didn't have any way to figure out how to right myself. It wasn't until one late Spring afternoon when I stumbled upon a campus Christian potato-sack race that I found Christ and steadied my wayward skiff.

I was searching for the ResTek offices, since the internet had been down for an hour and I was starting to get pangs of withdrawal-related nausea, when literally "tripped" upon this glorious beacon of hope in the stormy sea of my amorality. "Look Out!" screamed a girl, but it was too late. Just like the Holy Spirit, she knocked into me like a force of nature. Seeing how this was my first physical contact with a real human girl since I had matriculated, I was so befuddled by the interaction I tried clicking on her breasts with an invisible mouse.

Luckily, like all of god's children, she was forgiving of my prurient ways and settled on teaching me how to sack-race. Before I had the chance to make an off-color joke like I would normally do on a comment page, I was off and running with the flock, and being slowly but surely saved by the invisible, indiscriminate hand of god in the process.

As it says in Matthew 3:29 "...And he shall no longer looketh at the anointed cup, nor the 2 comely young virgins supplicating over the receptacle, or he shall bring shame unto himself and other onlookers", and in Luke 30:15 "...avert thine eyes from thy boobie".

I feel lucky to be saved.

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