The Battle for Getting People to Keep Reading Your Blog
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Getting people to read your blog is hard. "Look at me, look at me, look at me" you say. "I'm a human meme" you moan.
Well, chump, it takes work, diligence, and perseverance. I've included a hyperlink to the word perseverance, which I've also spelled wrong because I wrote this blog is such a great haste and look I just wrote "is" instead of "in".
Transitionary Bold Statement.
Transitionary Bold Statement.
Anyway, It begins with showing interest in others and providing quality content that people want to read. Check your sarcasm at the door, because this is the blog game, son. It requires you to care more about others than yourself and to show up to do the work, but not necessarily in a work environment, because you can do that IN THE REAL FRIGGIN' WORLD.
Why are you sobbing.
In light of everything, all of this is the easy part.
In light of everything, all of this is the easy part.
Photo credit: Mo Riza (Creative Commons)
A picture of a woman about to be smashed in the face with a burrito from a speeding train.
Hey, then, how do you get people to keep reading your blog?
That, my little hamster, is the real question.
Getting People to Stay at Your Blog
First, if people refuse to look at your blog, you must offer to fight them. The online world is only as good as a gentleman's word and a gentleman's word typically contains great myriads of violence.
And a voice that must be all your own.
In many ways, social media has trained us to have shorter attention spa
So, once you get people to read your blog (and not just scan it or maybe even duplicate it), you have to fight to keep them. With punches!
Here are a few tips that might help:
And a voice that must be all your own.
In many ways, social media has trained us to have shorter attention spa
Look, cats.
So, once you get people to read your blog (and not just scan it or maybe even duplicate it), you have to fight to keep them. With punches!
Here are a few tips that might help:
Give your blog a sassy brand and good design
If you are marketing this blog towards children, it probably would not be a good idea to have your "blog friends" sidebar link to include "depressedpenises.com".
It’s worth your time to sit down and figure out the brand of your blog. Here I've included some underlining and a broken hyperlink. Once you do that, you’ll need a good-looking set of hooters, woops I mean "Homepages" to direct blog traffic your way.
Ha. That's a good question. Wait, just kidding. That was a dumb question
It’s worth your time to sit down and figure out the brand of your blog. Here I've included some underlining and a broken hyperlink. Once you do that, you’ll need a good-looking set of hooters, woops I mean "Homepages" to direct blog traffic your way.
What are Homepages?
Ha. That's a good question. Wait, just kidding. That was a dumb question
Make sure human eyeballs are reading your blog
This means that you should count the number of eyeballs by multiplying the number of homepage visits via your "Googlesenses" by the number of eyes most normal human beings have. Which I believe is 1.7.
In this crazy age of robots and cyborgs, wizards and warlocks, vandals and vagrants, who knows who (or what) is actually reading your blog (or even WHY?).
Don't Trust Your Stats
In this day in age of Moneyball (The Movie), Japanese Robot Servants and Really Quickly Produced Tacos, who knows what you can and can't trust? Read a book, ever? The pages, which can usually be found in the upper lefthand or upper righthand corner, are merely "stats", and just as easily can be manipulated by your fingers just as can your "Googlesense" be.
A statistic is typically a number. Don't trust numbers. We are writers, not numerologists.
Create a strategy
You need a plan to attract people to your blog, almost to a sexual level, and to keep them coming back. This strategy should include positioning (not sexually, joker), quality content, and incentives to continue reading because without this, there is nothing.
In the case of MY blog, I chose a particular voice and topic and tried to deliver the best articles possible on a daily basis.
Whatever you do, you need to be intentional. Call it a plan or a rough strategy; just know where you’re going and why.
When in doubt, write for humans (not search engines). Your words are for people. When you serve them first, the search engines (and cyborgs) will take notice.
Whatever you do, you need to be intentional. Call it a plan or a rough strategy; just know where you’re going and why.
When in doubt, write for humans (not search engines). Your words are for people. When you serve them first, the search engines (and cyborgs) will take notice.
A cyborg found my blog, oh no!
The bottom line: Be yourself. Create a blog that has many links. Destroy all humans. That wasn't me, that was a robot. Serve your country. That was me. Diversify your blog output. That was the robot again. Kill all machines. That was the robot malfunctioning. There is hidden meaning inside of all blogs. Learn to use it wisely. Don't stop. Believe. Breathe.
Just. Breathe.
Just. Breathe.
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