You Will Join a Cult

I used to be obsessed with movies. When I was a kid, before imdb, rottentomatoes, and online movie trailers, I would pour over thick movie guides and entertainment weeklies trying to find things that would tickle my interest. Then, eh, movies kinda started not taking the same risks they used to take and then music went and filled in that gap. I pretty much watch 2-3 movies in the theater a year now, and I usually can only come up with one movie each year that I would strongly recommend. This post is intended to break up some of the monotony of the mp3s postings and let me talk about something else. Blah, no one reads this blog anyway.

Anyway, welcome to Distracted by Movies (tm)!

Here's a few flicks I've seen in the past year that are totally worth checking out if you are sick n tired of the Hollywood turd-machine.

1) House: It was at the point in this movie where the young Asian woman gets assaulted for 5 minutes by flying mattresses that I knew I had made an excellent choice.



This movie features: a floating head biting a girls butt; a killer fluffy kitty that looks like its from those Fancy Feast commercials; a piano that eats people; a man inexplicably turning into a banana-man; an incongruous 70s psychedelic pop soundtrack; and a million other visual non sequiters. Petition your local cinema to acquire this nu-cult gemstone.

2)In Bruges: This movie is seriously like the best movie I've seen in the past few years. I think it's destined to become a late night cult favorite too.




Features: A midget dressed in a schoolboy outfit getting it's face fully blown off by a shotgun blast; Collin Farrel as a good actor; tons of funny suicide jokes; cocaine use and guns being used to casually gesticulate or scratch heads; and children being murdered in churches followed by funny visual gags. Oy vey, rent this from your local mom-n-pop DVD mailing service, now!


3) The Room: Look, if you haven't seen this, get on it. And make sure to bring tons of friends. The easiest film in the world to make fun of.



Features: Tommy Wiseau's bubble-wrap, crater-ridden ass; Music and lyrics by Tommy Wiseau; Mr. Wisseau attempting to speak but more sounding like he's chewing something large; 6 million dollars in production values; A legion of fans that will put the Rocky Horror Picture show out of business.